"Pas de nouvelle, bonne nouvelle" ?
It has been quite some time since the last news. I'm sure I picked up the computer at least twice, once in April in South Africa and once in May in Turkey, with the intention of giving news, but one way or another, I didn't feel it was the right time.
With the things that have happened in the last few months, I have often said to myself, "When there is something positive to say, I will send out the newsletter," but this opportunity I was waiting for, this change for the better, I didn't see it coming.
Maybe in Irvine, in World Championships prep training camp, maybe there it would have been a good time: I was seeing and feeling progress every day, and I felt hopeful for Eugene. And then the whole thing turned out to be slightly different.
A counter-performance that destabilized me quite a bit, made me question everything again: what did I do wrong? What could I have done better? What did I need to do better? Talking to other athletes who have experienced a similar situation (and there are quite a few), I realized that this is completely normal behavior. A human reaction in the world of performance, where having moments when you feel weak is more common than the moments when you feel invincible.
What a lesson to be learned, for me who had lived the most incredible year of my life in 2021. A lesson in patience, an understanding of how the body with months of lost training cannot work magic, but more importantly how the mind must be a temple with an earthquake-proof foundation.
For those who are regular readers, as you can see, this is a somewhat different newsletter than usual. I do not tell you about successes, new sponsors, important news or upcoming races. I tell you about what has been on my mind lately. With my eyes on Münich in a few weeks, I have a desire to rediscover the pleasure of competition, training and athletics. Anything on the side can help, like when I had made up my own "Mission The Wall" for Berlin 2018, listening to Pink Floyd, imagining the colors of the Berlin Wall to create a journey of my own. Now more than ever, I must find my mantra in the floydian "Learning To Fly", in what from 2018 onwards is the heart of my adventure in exploring my personal limits.
So here's the anecdote for this newsletter: I am actively looking for inspiration related to Munich and music, which is not related to Oktober Fest. Hints and suggestions are welcome.
Hugs and greetings from The Netherlands.
Ajla
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